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...."
She stared at him bleakly. Her hands lay limply in her lap. "I couldn't! I wanted to, but I couldn't! Damn it, Xris, can't you understand? You'd been right! You'd been so goddamn right. And I hated you for being right. I didn't want to hear you say, 'I told you so' !"
Xris took the twist out of his mouth. "Year, I figured that. I wanted to apologize. Your private life was none of my business. I should have kept my mouth shut. It's just--" He shook his head.
"You were trying to save me from myself," Rowan said, smiling the lopsided, sad smile. "I know that. I knew it then. And I knew the truth about her, too. I just didn't know the truth about myself."
She was silent a moment, seemed about to add something. She did add something, eventually. But Xris had the feeling it wasn't what she'd intended.
"I wanted to be loved. It was nice, having someone to come home to at night. I wanted what you and Marjorie had .... "
Xris tossed the chewed-up twist onto the deck.
Rowan glanced at him, looked away. "I heard. I'm sorry."
"So you were saying you should have talked to me," Xris prompted, cold and hard.
"Yes," said Rowan, "I should have talked to you .... "
Dalin Rowan sat in his seat in the shuttlecraft, pretending to study the material he'd been given yesterday, during the briefing at agency headquarters. He was pretending to study it because the new controller--what was his name? Annstrong
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