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. And now you won't marry
me. Let's go back to bed."
"Let's finish breakfast and let it settle first-have you no mercy? I didn't
say I wouldn't many you... and I did not stretch you."
"Oh, what a sinful lie! Will you pass the butter, please? You're deformed
all right! How big is that tumor with the bone in it? Twenty-five centimeters?
More? And how big around? If I had seen it first, I would have never risked it."
"Oh, piffle! It's not even twenty centimeters. I didn't stretch you; I'm
just middlin' size. You should see my Uncle Jock. More coffee?"
"Yes, thank you. You surely did stretch me! Uh... is your Uncle Jock
actually bigger than you are? Locally?"
"Much."
"Uh... where does he live?"
"Finish your waffle. Do you still want to take me back to bed? Or do you
want a note to my Uncle Jock?"
"Why can't I have both? Yes, a little more bacon, thank
you. Richard, you're a good cook. I don't want to marry Uncle Jock; I'm
just curious."
"Don't ask him to show it to you unless you mean business ... because he
always means business. He seduced his Scoutmaster's wife when he was twelve. Ran
away with her. Caused considerable talk in southern Iowa because she didn't want
to give him up. That was over a hundred years ago when such things were taken
seriously, at least in Iowa."
"Richard, are you implying that Uncle Jock is over a hundred and still
active and virile?"
"A hundred and sixteen and still jumping his friends' wives, daughters,
mothers, and livestock
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