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. This is
being recorded. State your full name and legal address, then repeat: As
representative of Lilybet Washington of Lucky Dragon Pressure, doing business as
the Apocalypse and Kingdom Come Bus Company, I authorize Major Kirk Bozell,
commanding officer and business manager of the Hong Kong Luna Vigilante
Volunteers, to supply-"
"Hold it. What is this?"
"Just the standard contract covering services for personal protection and
property conservation, and guaranteeing payment. You can't expect to roust a
platoon of guards out of bed in the middle of the night and not pay for it.
TANSTAAFL. No free lunch."
"Hmm. Major, do you happen to have any hemorrhoid salve on hand?
Preparation H? Pazo? That sort of thing?"
"Eh? I use Tiger Balm. Why?"
"You're going to need it. Take that standard contract, fold it until it is
all sharp comers-"
I stayed tuned to thirteen, made no further effort to find the emergencies
channel. So far as I could see there was no point to shouting "M'aidez!" on
channel eleven when I had already talked to the only likely source of help. I
leaned my helmet against Gwen's and summarized, then added, "Both the idiots
insisted that there are no bandits out here."
"Maybe they weren't bandits. Maybe they were just agrarian reformers making
a political statement. I surely hope we don't run into any right-wing
extremists! Richard, I had better not talk while I'm driving
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