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. And that was the day Dalin Rowan died. I wept for him, Xris. I cried for him as I cried for you and for Ito. I'd lost someone very close to me. But that's all he ever was. Someone close. And that's why it was my fault."
"And if it's your fault, then that makes it my fault, too," Xris said harshly. He pulled his hand away from hers. "Because I let you down. Because I wasn't there for you. I wasn't sensitive enough. You're saying that if we'd sat down in the bar that night and you said to me, 'Hey, Xris, old buddy, I've decided to get my wienie whacked off and grow boobs,' that this would have helped us nail Armstrong?"
He thought she'd be angry, maybe hoped she'd be angry. But she only regarded him sadly. "You don't understand," she said in a dull, hopeless tone. "Damn right I don't. Why don't you try to explain it?" She was silent, wouldn't look at him. He was about to give up, go to sleep, let her sulk on her own, if that's what she wanted, when suddenly she began to talk.
"I was so hung up on myself I didn't recognize the warning signs about Armstrong. All kinds of red lights were going off in my brain, but I ignored them. I should have spotted that bastard, Xris. I should have nailed Armstrong from the beginning."
"And I shouldn't have gone into that factory when I knew in my gut it was all wrong," he said quietly. "I beat myself up with that stick every day for a year
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